My Next Chapter

For years and at an accelerating clip (I think correlated with my age/gray hairs), I’ve had the honor of trying to help many people find out their ‘next’, their ’why’ or just more about themselves. Sometimes it was with people I knew well, and sometimes it was with people that were randomly introduced. Either way, I cherish(ed) those conversations. Years ago, I would try to help people baseline their thinking with a very simple framework my dad taught me. Three questions: 1) What do you love? 2) What are you great at? and 3) What pays the bills for the lifestyle you want?

It’s surprising where a few simple introspective questions and time in concentrated thought can lead you. About 5 years ago, I stumbled upon a framework that has existed for centuries that is the ‘Tom Boyle Framework plus one Question’, Ikigai. It’s a Japanese concept that combines two words, Iki meaning life and gai meaning value or worth. Put simply, life meaning or purpose. That fourth question is ‘What does the World Need’? I’ve used some poetic liberties to make that more ‘layman’ (my preferred language), and translated it to ‘What would make you want to work even harder, the more difficult it got’? Said another way, what are the problems you want to run toward, not from? And with the help of this four circle Venn Diagram framework, I hope I’ve helped a lot of people get some clarity and direction in this otherwise confusing journey we’re on.

After having a 16+ year incredibly fulfilling career at the same institution, inertia was strong, awareness was waning and I forgot that I also had to ask myself those four questions. Not for who I was when I started or even five years ago, but for who I am now. And whether I wanted to face the music or not, my truth was that what had been a Four Circle Ikigai career, in 2022, morphed into a 1 maybe 2 circle job and it scared the shit out of me. I was tired, short on attention and not bringing my best for the first time in my career. And it wasn’t necessarily my job’s fault — I was out of alignment and I didn’t know what to do about it.

I’ll spare my full process for other posts (many lessons learned!!), but what is worth sharing now is the essence I needed to get to the root of. And with the help of my amazing Coach back then, I was able to get reacquainted with my values, who I wanted to be professionally and personally, and ultimately get back to my Ikigai. The irony is in working with my Coach…I couldn’t get my mind off the work she was doing with me. And as I reflected on the parts of my job that truly ‘filled me up’ over the last 3–4 years, it shifted away from my own achievements to leading from behind and helping others ‘succeed’. That leadership tended to come in many forms, but I found the most impactful form was in asking the hard questions, providing the honest well-intended feedback and simply just believing and championing. This had become a true side hustle for me where I was spending disproportionate amounts of my time because it’s what I loved and what I believed I could be great at.

For those that know me well, teaching and coaching was always on my career roadmap. I just thought it was going to be coaching soccer or hoops and teaching history or finance or stats…and in my 50s. Specifically, and feel free to steal this amazing idea…my grand plan was to design a 1900s world history course with the syllabus being the lyrics from Billy Joel’s ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’. One of the few songs I’ll actually karaoke. You’re welcome.

So with all that said, My Next Chapter will be one dedicated to Executive and Leadership Coaching. The side hustle becoming The Hustle. When I look back on who has had the greatest impact on me throughout my life, aside from my family and dear friends, Coaches have always been smack in the middle of trajectory defining moments in my life. They believed in me. They challenged me to stay true to my values. They challenged me to challenge myself. They called me on my bullshit. They provided perspectives to situations to help solve. And they gave me the push I needed at times, when I didn’t have the confidence or courage on my own. For those that are up for the journey and the relationship, it is my intention to pay that forward as earnestly as I can.

After finding the clarity that this is my path last October, I have put all of my energy into honing this craft. In the last year, I have spent hundreds of hours Coaching (the brave ones that were willing to work with me knowing I was a novice!) and in the classroom to work toward my Certified Professional Co-Active Coach Certification through the Co-Active Training Institute.

While the needle was almost threaded where I hoped to run down parallel paths, doing this part time within the SVB family and part time outside, it wasn’t meant to be. So instead I am running full steam with my own solo practice. I have stopped living vicariously through all of SVB’s clients and have hung my own shingle (love that term!). I look forward to working with those that are up for the journey and only hope I can have the same impact on others that my coaches have left on me.

Excited for what’s next. See you soon.

-denny